How to Talk with a Coworker Who’s Having a Tough Time

Everyone has bad days at work. Whether you’re frustrated because you didn’t hit your sales numbers, or sad that layoffs have impacted your department, negative emotions have a place at work, like it or not. It’s one thing for you to feel sad, mad, or bad — and to know yourself well enough to predict that you’ll work through it and (hopefully) get over it shortly. It’s another thing when your colleague is having an extended tough stretch, and you’re thinking to yourself, “Shouldn’t he be over it already?” Nevertheless, as much as you may want your colleague to buck up — for himself and for you — you can’t rush his process any more than he can. You can, of course, make things worse, by ignoring him, judging him, confronting him, avoiding him, talking about him behind his back, or telling him some version of “enough, already!” So how can you contribute to making things better? By acknowledging where he is emotionally right now, and by giving him an opportunity to reflect on how he feels, what he needs, or what’s in his way, as well as letting him brainstorm what he wants to do to make things better for himself.